i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i think i have herpe
just one?
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
