So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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