I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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