You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Randomize
