I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
