im drinking this country out of the recession.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
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