I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
