she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
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