Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
