At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
