The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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