I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
