I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
