I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
