That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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