if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
