You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
