we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
