Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
