i think i have two assholes
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
