God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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