The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
