so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
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I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
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My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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