There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
My boob is missing a layer of skin
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
