Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
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