well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
