she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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