Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
