sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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