I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
