Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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