You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
