She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
