no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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