You work out of a Hotel?
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
