Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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