you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Please don't give away my fajitas
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
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