a search helicopter?!
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
