so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Randomize
