you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
