please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
