I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
