What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I'm at about main and main street
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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