There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
