So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
too bad you live with your parents still
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
