I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
