yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
