That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
So many bounce houses so little time
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
