you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
