Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
In America we eat man semen.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
