Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
