Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Randomize
