This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I can't put those talents on a resume
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Randomize
