well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
i think i have herpe
just one?
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
