Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
