I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
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Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
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And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I am one with the molecules
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
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