OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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