he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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