Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
