tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
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