he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
