I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize